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How to ask someone for a job referral

Ask a former teammate for a referral with a short message they can answer. Includes what to send if they agree.

Ghosted editorialPublished 12 min read

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The message

Ask in four lines

Replace everything in square brackets. Send it wherever the two of you already talk: email, LinkedIn or a chat you still share.

SubjectThe [Role] opening on your team

Hi [Name],

I saw the [Role] opening on your team. The part about [a task from the posting] reminded me of [the work you did together] at [the company you shared]. Would you feel comfortable referring me? Here’s the posting: [link].

Thanks, [Your name]

Filled in, it reads like this:

SubjectThe Support Engineer opening on your team

Hi Jo,

I saw the Support Engineer opening on your team. The part about debugging customer reports reminded me of the checkout issues we worked through at Northstar. Would you feel comfortable referring me? Here’s the posting: northline.example/jobs/4821

Thanks, Alex

Made-up details

Three things, and nothing else: the job, one piece of work you did together that connects to it, and a question they can answer either way. Jo doesn’t have to remember Alex’s whole career. One shared memory, tied to one line of the posting, is enough to decide.

Have these ready

Role link
northline.example/jobs/4821
Shared project
Checkout issues at Northstar
CV filename
Alex-Reed-CV-Support.pdf

They said yes

If they say yes

Send the CV you want them to use and the job ID. Ask whether you should wait for a referral link before applying. Already applied? Say so now, so they can check what their team allows.

SubjectRe: their thread

Hi [Name],

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’ve attached the CV I’d like to use, and the job ID is [job ID]. Should I wait for a referral link from you before I apply?

Thanks, [Your name]

If you applied before you asked, tell them in the same reply:

SubjectRe: their thread

Hi [Name],

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I should mention that I applied on [Date], before I wrote to you. Could you check whether your team can still count a referral? I’ve attached the CV I sent with the application, and the job ID is [job ID].

Thanks, [Your name]

Send the same CV they’ll be vouching for. If you sent a different version with your application, the person reading both will notice, and your referrer will look like they didn’t check.

Why the job ID

Many referral forms ask for it, and a team hiring for two similar roles needs to know which one you mean. Sending it saves your referrer a search and gets you referred for the right opening.

Start here

Ask someone who knows your work

A referral is a recommendation with someone else’s name on it. When Jo refers Alex, Jo is telling their own team that Alex would be good at this job. The best person to ask is the one who can say that honestly, from something they saw.

A former teammate

  • Saw your work and can describe it
  • Ask for a referral directly
  • Remind them of one shared project

A friend who works there

  • Knows you, not your work
  • Ask what the team is like, and whether they’d pass your CV on
  • Don’t ask them to vouch for skills they haven’t seen

Someone you’ve never met

  • Can’t recommend you yet
  • Ask one question about the team instead
  • A referral may follow once you’ve talked

If you have a choice, pick the person whose work was closest to yours. A teammate who sat in the same support queue can speak to how you handled customers. A senior manager who met you at a party can only say you seemed nice.

What if we’ve never worked together?

Ask a question they can answer from experience, such as what the team spends most of its week doing. Let the conversation start there.

How it works

What a referral does, and what it doesn’t

At most companies, a referral means an employee puts your name forward through the hiring system, often with a line about how they know you. What happens next depends on the company, but the effect is usually the same: your application gets read by a person, with a colleague’s word attached.

It gets your CV read

A posting can draw hundreds of applications. A referred one arrives with a name the hiring team recognises, which makes it harder to skip.

It adds a sentence about you

Your referrer may be asked how they know you and what you were like to work with. That’s why the shared project matters: it gives them something true to write.

It doesn’t skip the process

You still apply, interview and get compared with other candidates. A referral opens the door. The interview is still yours to do.

It puts their name next to yours

If you turn up late or unprepared, your referrer hears about it. Treat the process as if they were watching, because in a small way they are.

Referrals and hires

1 in 16

Of candidates who came through an employee referral, 1 in 16 were hired, against 1 in 152 who applied through a company’s careers site or a job posting. That was Lever’s data from about 1,000 employers and over 4 million candidates, from August 2015 to July 2016.

Source: SHRM, on Lever’s 2016 hiring data

Line by line

The four parts of the message

  1. The job

    “I saw the Support Engineer opening on your team.” Name the role the way the posting does, so they can find it in their own system.

  2. One shared piece of work

    “The part about debugging customer reports reminded me of the checkout issues we worked through at Northstar.” One line of the posting, matched to one thing they saw you do.

  3. The question

    “Would you feel comfortable referring me?” It asks whether they know your work well enough, not whether they like you. That makes a no easy to give, and a yes worth more.

  4. The link

    Paste the posting itself, not the company’s careers page. They should be able to read the job in one click, without searching.

Leave out your life story, your whole CV and the reasons you’re leaving your current job. If they want to know more, they’ll ask, and a short message is far easier to answer on a phone between meetings.

Make no easy

Someone who feels free to say no gives a warmer yes. “Would you feel comfortable” does that without a paragraph of apology.

Timing

Ask before you apply

A referral happens before applying. At some companies, a referral only counts if it reaches the system before your application does. Others let an employee add a referral later. You won’t know which until you ask, so ask first.

  • Write the day you see the opening. A posting can close early once the team has enough applicants, and your referrer may need a few days to get to it.
  • Give them a few working days. People check personal messages less often than work ones. Silence for two days usually means busy, not no.
  • Follow up once, after about a week. One short line is enough. If there’s still nothing, apply on your own and let it go.

SubjectRe: their thread

Hi [Name],

Just checking you saw my message about the [Role] opening. No problem at all if it’s not something you can do.

Thanks, [Your name]

Don’t wait forever

If the posting has a closing date and you haven’t heard back two or three days before it, apply anyway. A missed deadline costs more than a missed referral.

Other situations

Three more messages you can copy

Same shape each time: the job, why you’re writing to this person, and a question they can answer either way.

You haven’t spoken in a few years. Say so in a few words, then ask:

SubjectThe [Role] opening at [Company]

Hi [Name],

It’s been a while since [the company you shared]. I hope [Company] is treating you well. I saw the [Role] opening there, and it’s close to the [work you did together] we did. If you remember my work well enough, would you feel comfortable referring me? Here’s the posting: [link].

Thanks, [Your name]

A friend who works there but hasn’t seen your work. Ask about the team, and whether they’d pass your CV on, not for a recommendation:

SubjectA question about [Company]

Hi [Name],

I’m thinking of applying for the [Role] opening at [Company]. What’s that team like to work with? If it sounds like a fit after we talk, would you be happy to pass my CV on to the hiring manager?

Thanks, [Your name]

Someone you’ve never met. Start with one question about their work, and leave the referral for later:

SubjectA question about the [Role] team

Hi [Name],

I’m looking at the [Role] opening on your team at [Company]. Could I ask what the team spends most of its week doing? I’d like to understand the work before I apply.

Thanks, [Your name]

Before you ask

Four things to settle first

Whether you’d take the job

Asking for a referral to a role you’d turn down spends someone’s goodwill for nothing. Read the posting properly before you write.

Whether you fit the posting

Your referrer is vouching for you to their own team. If you meet half the requirements, say so honestly, or pick a closer role.

Which CV you’ll send

Have it ready before they reply, shaped for this job. If you need to adapt it first, here’s how to tailor a CV to a job description.

Whether you’ve already applied

If you have, say so in your first message or your reply. It changes what they can do, and they’d rather know now than find out from the hiring system.

What goes wrong

The mistakes that make a referral hard to give

No link

“Is your company hiring?” makes them go looking. Paste the posting, so the only question left is yes or no.

Five roles at once

Asking to be referred for everything open tells them you’re not sure what you want. Pick the one you’d be best at.

A paragraph about why you’re leaving

They don’t need it to decide, and it’s the part most likely to be forwarded. Keep the message about the new job.

Pressing after a no

A no usually means they don’t know your work well enough, or their team has rules. Thank them and move on; the friendship is worth more than the referral.

Going quiet afterwards

They put their name next to yours. Tell them when you hear back, good news or not.

Last look

A checklist before you send

After they refer you

Keep them in the loop

Thank them once they’ve put you forward, in a line. Then tell them what happens: an interview, an offer, or a no. People who refer you rarely hear how it ended, and the ones who do are glad to help again.

SubjectRe: their thread

Hi [Name],

A quick update on the [Role] application: [what happened, such as an interview on Thursday, or a no this time]. Thank you again for putting me forward. It made a real difference to have someone on the team who knew my work.

[Your name]

If the process reaches references, your referrer may not be the right person to ask, as they’re already part of the story. Pick someone else who saw your work, and ask them first. And keep a note of who referred you for which job, with the CV you sent. If you’re applying to several places, this guide to keeping applications organised shows how.

Questions

Questions people ask about job referrals

Is it OK to ask for a referral?

Yes. Referrals are a normal part of hiring, and many companies ask their staff for them. A short message with the job link and a question they can say no to is the easy version to answer.

What if we’ve never worked together?

Ask a question they can answer from experience, such as what the team spends most of its week doing. Let the conversation start there.

Should I apply before or after asking for a referral?

Ask first. At some companies a referral only counts if it arrives before your application. If you’ve already applied, tell them, so they can check what their team allows.

What if they don’t reply?

Send one short follow-up after about a week. If there’s still nothing, apply on your own, and don’t take it personally. People are busy, and personal messages slip.

What if they say no?

Thank them and leave it there. A no usually means they don’t know your work well enough to vouch for it, which is an honest answer. You can still apply on your own.

Can I ask for a referral on LinkedIn?

Yes, especially if that’s where you’re already connected. Use the same message without the subject line, and paste the posting’s link rather than the company page.

How do I thank someone for a referral?

A line when they’ve put you forward, and another when you hear back. Telling them how it ended matters more than anything else you could send.

Got a referral? Keep it with the job.

Keep who referred you, the CV you sent them and the next step on the job’s card.

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